So to start off with some exciting news. Another adoptive family has just arrived to join us, and has their child. He is a six year old (possibly younger) boy who Jen and I considered adopting ourselves. Though now we would not trade him for Agape under any circumstance, he is a pretty funny kid. What is so hilarious is that he's not trying to be funny. I've never met such a serious child in my entire life. However, I am a little concerned that he has connections with the mafia. I will be staying on his good side. Anyway, this new family has adopted before and lived to talk about it. We will gleaning their learned wisdom.
Today was an overall difficult day for Agape. She had her moments of happiness, playing and laughing like the girl we fell head over heels for. Her and I had a wonderful time playing with her baby dolls, and I proudly say, I enjoyed every second of it. She is even just starting to accept the English language. Not truly speaking it yet, but practicing with many words.
Those were her happy times. The times in between were not so sweet and sentimental. The first one happened this morning after breakfast. Agape was washing up to get dressed. Now, these girls can't get enough of running water. It's the first time they've ever had it. So, washing up time usually becomes play time where water gets everywhere. Agape had her time of fun, and it was time to get dressed. When she refused to stop, I simply turned the water off.
Like a normal little girl, this caused a temper-tantrum. She dropped to the floor screaming and yelling, in Lingala no less. I could tell she was faking her cry, so Jen and I just let her be for a few minutes to see if she would bring herself out of this. She didn't, so finally I picked her up off the floor, wrapped the towel around her, and just held her in my lap. That's when her real tears came.
I felt her head fall against my shoulder, weeping with sadness. She was broken, and I was broken. I usually try to play a pretty tough nonemotional guy, but this girl seems to see right through me. As she cried in my lap I could feel the years of pain, loneliness, insecurity, mistrust, and all the other feelings an orphan builds up over the years just flow out of her. The scars of her past are very apparent both on the outside and inside.
No father wants his child to experience this, and yet my little girl has known only this for the 4+ years she's been alive. I must remember, that this is the Gospel. God heard our cries of brokenness, and wouldn't stand for it. He sent us Jesus as our comfort. He took the shame we felt from being orphaned by him. He broke through the wall that was built around our hearts to keep him out. Now through His Love for us we mustn't feel sad any longer.
It is because of this Hope that calls us to adopt. To see the everlasting Love of God being played out in our world through adoption is the best picture of salvation that we have.
A similar incident happened during dinner, where we had to bring her up to the room and replay the same event. This is very hard to deal with, and certainly not fun, but it is a normal and necessary part of adoption. Plus, we claim victory tonight. For there is a wall built around Agape's heart to protect her from being hurt. But after today, there is a crack in that wall. Eventually this wall will crumble.
The night did end well. We read her a story, looked at pictures of home, and tried to finish the night with a Bible story, but she fell asleep half way through it. Now we rest and prepare for another day with our African Love.
Blessings to you all.
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