Daddy's girl

Well, today was our official last full day in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Crazy. Cannot believe that tomorrow at this time we will be on our last flight from Ethiopia to DC! I had hoped that today could just be another lazy day filled with family and friend fellowship, but it actually was pretty busy. It was a very unusual day in many ways, but still very good. First of all, we spent most of the day apart. A new family arrived yesterday late at night, and today they went to the orphanage of one of their sons to meet him. Dan went with them to get photos and video for them, and also to meet some of the other children. This was the same orphanage that Agape came from - where she got the Jiggers - and so we had absolutely no desire to take her back there to visit. Can you imagine what she would have thought or felt? NOT a good idea! One of the other families that we have met who is here adopting (through another agency) took their little girl to visit her orphanage today... they said that it was BAD! Their poor girl was SO UPSET! She thought for sure they were taking her back. They said they had never seen her so happy as when they were pulling back into the guest house. We did not want to put Agape through that, so we decided that Dan would go and I would stay back with Agape. This was hard for me because I really longed to see the place that was a part of so much of Agape's past and obviously shaped much about who she is. He got pics and video so I could experience it virtually... and I was not missing much, believe me. In any case, the day became a loooooong story and series of unfortunate events (of which we cannot speak... private info), but in the end Dan ended up being gone from 10:30 am till around 6:00 pm!

It was hard for us to spend our last day in Congo apart, but good came from this! First, Dan was able to be there in a tough time for another family. This was God orchestrated, and we are so thankful that Dan was able to be a help. Second, we had a great breakthrough with Agape. So, here's how our day went...

Basic morning routine: breakfast at 7:30, shower, silly time, get dressed, more silly time, walked to market (for the last time!) to get rice for the orphanage and a day's worth of avocados for the kids (they LOVE them!), and Dan leaves for orphanage. As soon as he leaves I catch up on some emailing, and then start major packing. Agape plays and entertains herself for a long while, and then I pop in the Lion King (her new favorite movie!) while I finish up the last of the packing. We take a break for lunch time and play time with friends out under the big shade trees... and grasshopper hunting ensues. Everyone is having fun until it is just about nap time. By this time Dan has been gone for 3 1/2 hours. Agape has asked a few times for him, and I kept telling her to wait, that he would be coming back soon. We figured they would be back around this time, but they aren't, so I figure that we might as well head up to the room for nap. Agape is especially excited to go to nap... and by especially excited, I mean, she was laughing and running up the stairs to our room. Would you be surprised if I told you that this is NOT the way "the long walk up to naptime" usually goes? Well, it didn't take me long to figure out that she thought Dan was going to be up in the room when we got there, and THAT is why she was excited. So sad to find he was still not there. (and all the suitcases are definitely making her nervous) Well, before any sort of meltdown could occur, I restarted Lion King from where we left off, and she happily finished. As soon as it was over she rolled over, looked at me, and said "Papa?" OK, so I was obviously not being very successful with the distraction. I told her "First lala (sleep in Lingala), the Papa will be back." Wouldn't you know the girl just rolled back over laid her head down and went to sleep, just like that. Boom. MAN, she must be missing Papa for nap time to be that easy! Of course, then he still wasn't there upon wake-up. Momma just could not deliver today, and I was so worried that she was going to freak out. Fortunately, she seemed to understand that he was coming LATER. - Zelah is the lingala word for "wait" and we are VERY familiar with it by now!  :) - When Papa finally did come back, our girl was the happiest that I have seen her so far. We celebrated with an all out tickle fight with lots of hugs and kisses. Good stuff!

OK, so what's the big deal? She misses dad. Pretty normal huh? Well for us, this is HUGE! From the very first day, she has had trouble trusting Dan. It seems all the girls have a bit of a struggle bonding with the dads actually (draw your own conclusions, there... and they are probably true). But if you know Dan, you know how deeply he loves. He wants to POUR OUT AFFECTION on his baby girl like nothing else. She is his princess, love at first sight. A few days ago I went to the store, and apparently she wailed from the time I left till the time that I came back, not wanting Papa to get anywhere near her and ONLY crying out for MAMA. The past few days she has been less and less guarded with him, and had responded better every day, even initiating lots of affection now. What a change from rejecting his hand for the first few days. Well today seals the deal. She LOVES her Papa! And now she has seen that even though he goes away sometimes, he still comes back. And even better, when he comes back, he has lots of love stored up to give her!!! I know this will continue to be a struggle for her for a long time. Trust is not built in a week. But a stone has been laid. And each day we will add another and another. And one day trust will be built strong enough to withstand some storms.

Last night we made the mistake of stepping outside the door to our room and into the hallway to greet the new family. Apparently when we were out there talking, Agape woke up, saw we weren't in the room, and just started crying. She didn't come looking, didn't come screaming, just quietly cried to herself. She thought we were gone. When we came back in it took a long time of hugging and reassuring to settle her down. Oh my dear child, we will never leave you like that! You will not be abandoned again! This is how fragile her heart is right now... but we shall keep on loving her with all we have in us till she is strong!

Oh SO MANY spiritual applications that I could make here... so much of myself and my orphan heart that I see in this girl. So much more that I understand about God's love and my adoption as HIS CHILD. But I will leave you with this...

John 14:18 "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

Yup, that's us too, you know.

So tomorrow we will be flying back "home". Home for us... soon-to-be-home for Agape. There is so much more I want to write about my thoughts and feelings on this huge transition ahead for my sweet, oblivious little lady. Man, she has no clue what's coming. But it is late, and my last cold Congolese shower awaits. Plus Dan wants to post. We have to share the computer these days. Hard to type a blog post on an iPhone, handy as those smartphones are. :) Goodnight all... see you on the OTHER side of the ocean!