What's in a name.... ?

Just a short note of something that I found neat today. In an email, our agency director commented that Agape LOVED her new name. Yay! That made me so happy! I mean, we love it, but we are so happy that she does too! 

I wanted to write a bit about this just because I have received so many questions on this lately from concerned people who think that we might be “stealing her identity” by changing her name, or that it is going to be traumatic for her to have to change it, etc. I think this is so interesting because this is an issue where Western culture divides from other cultural perspectives. In our culture, and most other western cultures, names reference individuality. PERSONAL rights, freedoms, and ownership are things that we value very highly! Our name is one of the most important words to us, because it is probably our first personal possession, and we feel tied to the notion of our selves as individuals. This is not so for many cultures of the world, who tie names to belonging and value inclusion in community above any notion of personal rights and individuality. Instead of setting apart, names draw inward. Not exclusive, but inclusive, and powerful communicator of identity within a group.

Now, I am not saying that either practice is right or wrong... I think they both have valid points! We need to be individuals, uniquely created by God ... but the point of that uniqueness is not to stand alone, but rather to dwell in peaceful community with one another, so that in the end, we are all whole because of our collective strengths. A beautiful tapestry would not be anything without the individual colorful strands, but the individual strands by themselves fail to meet their purpose without coming together with one another. It’s just awesome how God makes us each different, and then weaves us into just the right communities of diversity... gorgeous!

In any case... back to names... it is really interesting how you view your own name depending upon your culture! We have also been told that in Congo specifically, names hold great significance and meaning, and it is common for people to have MANY names by which they are called. They are given a regular “first” name, a surname, a “Christian” name (with Biblical meaning), and a new name if they are adopted into a family. And the children respond to any of their names! How do they keep it all straight? That’s what I’d like to know! LOL 

Anyhow, we chose to change her name for many reasons, but we especially wanted her to know that she is now and forever, undeniably, completely, no question, an integral part of our family with her identity as an abandoned orphan behind her. Yet, her painful past and beautiful culture is still - and will always be to some extent - very much a part of her (and part of our whole family’s story now too), which is why we chose to leave her Congolese name as a second middle name. If she was much older we probably would do something different, like keep the first and add a middle name, etc. Who knows... But we have been so sure that her name IS to be Agape, and so we are just so thrilled that she loves it! 

Agape May Mado Shultz: Agape has beautiful Christian meaning: God’s Selfless Love (For God so loved the world...). May is a family middle name passed down from my grandmother, to my mom, to me, and now to my firstborn daughter. Mado is our daughter’s Congolese given name. Finally, Shultz means that she is a part of OUR FAMILY forever more! 

So there you have it.... what’s in a name? Apparently a lot, but it just depends on how you are looking at it!  :)

A very long - and long awaited - update...

This post is going to be insanely LONG. Fair warning. :)

So, today is pretty much a huge, the entire world is different, nothing will ever be the same, kind of day. I say this not because anything is noticeably changed. In fact, it is the kind of change that makes me think of the night Jesus was born... the whole world did not get the memo, they probably woke up and went about their day as usual, and hardly anyone except a few raggedy shepherds and a poor couple in a stable knew that anything had changed.... AND YET.... the world would never be the same again! Love had come, and a bridge was being built on that love, which would stretch across a divide as wide as a continent, bridging the hidden world of heaven and the turf of earth. Well, that is what has happened for us in the past 24 hrs. A bridge is being built, a divide is beginning to close, and two continents are coming together. 

TODAY, yes even this moment, our daughter now knows that we EXIST. Just to say this - every time that I even think about it - it makes my eyes flow like Yosemite Falls. She knows our faces! She has seen our pictures! She has heard about her future in a family with us! She is even wearing the very bracelet that I made for her and I am wearing the matching one - a million miles apart, yet connected! The whole world is different now. Our family is that much closer, and a process is set into motion to draw us as threads into a tightly woven tapestry. You, the reader, may have NO IDEA how deeply this knowledge settles into my heart and tears it to happy shreds. I am broken, mended, and  undone all at the same time. I am still processing the understanding of it all. There is so much more to get to know about our daughter and so much more for her to know about us, but for now, we know that she knows that we are HERE, and we will be COMING.

And that is all we know. But for right now, that is ALL I NEED.  :)  No photos yet, or video, or answers to our specific child-related questions, just a general email to our whole adoption group from our director reporting that they have seen the kids, distributed the care packages, and toured the orphanage. 

More on the good news about the orphanage in a moment....

First let me revel a bit more! OH, the glory of knowing that at any given moment she could be looking at the photo album we sent her! She could be imagining herself in her bedroom. She could be scared spitless at the pictures of these crazy pale people who cal themselves “mom and dad” and I would not blame her! Maybe she is wearing a dress we sent, drawing with her very own markers, hugging her “Build a Bear” and listening to our voices talk in very poor french and completely unfamiliar English. Maybe she is screaming and laughing in Lingala (the only language that she actually knows, we now have discovered!) with her playmates while using the megaphone-microphone we got for her. My mind can think of hundreds of ways that she is now THAT MUCH more connected to us and our world. Yesterday, at the very time that I was in the classroom at Bethany telling the first graders all about HER and her Congolese world, she was finding out about US and her future home in America! How unbelievably COOL! We have been able to “touch” her life over the miles and across the ocean, and I cannot explain how much this makes me laugh, cry, glow, and DESPERATELY want to go to her that much more RIGHT NOW! I am just so thankful for our directors taking this trip to love on the orphans that are soon to be adopted into their forever families, preparing the way for us to soon come and get them and bring them home. 

But I am rambling... I need to get to more good stuff.

Major praise! the orphanage is a safe place and the man who runs it seems very good and trustworthy. Instead of trying to sum up what was put in the email to our adoption group, I am just going to copy and paste the email right here. Please keep in mind that our poor director had not slept more than 4 hrs in a 48 hr time period, so it is short and sweet, a random list of “impressions” from her visit to our daughter’s orphanage, but packed with info that makes our hearts GLAD (my comments are in blue):

"ok, I was not prepared for the chaos of videoing,asking questions to a little person who just looks at me with piercing eyes, rain to start in the midst of it AND drum roll please! Lingala. They only speak lingala. (We were expecting them to know French!)

breakfast: I think it is called semolina- a yellowish cream of wheat (I think I can find this at BB’s so we will have to cook some soon!!!)

lunch: rice always plus something-today it was cassava leaves-looks like  pesto and tastes like collard greens

dinner:semolina or cassava-whatever the morning stuff was plus cassava (Have no idea where I can buy cassava???)

took pictures of their beds

oh my goodness, I want to eat them up as they look at the picture I just took!

delightful-these children are delightful (YAY! OF COURSE my child is delightful, LOL!)

balls-big hit

stickers are for sharing

a gift of a bracelet and momma in america has the same one-love it! (That’s ME, and I am wearing it now!)

[the orphanage] looks like a primitive farm on a mountain side (VERY COOL! She will be used to the country!)

the road to get there feels matches

yikes I hope we got video footage! (WE HOPE SO TOO!)

love the pictures

D. and lawyer may be moving slower than hoped but they are honest men (SO good to know! An answer to prayer!)

I know why JB keeps saying that our families will be very happy-once the labor pains are past, they will be thrilled (YES, WE WILL!)

Here is some more info from our agency that came over an email... this one made me cry when I was trying to read it out loud to Dan. Yes, we hate needing to pay “so much” for adoption, but news like this makes it all worth it:

“Today, she and Cherie went to an orphanage (This is referring to Agape's orphanage) and met the man there who runs it (this is our daughter’s caretaker). She found out that the older children there had to stop going to school because of a lack of funds to pay for the schooling. When Sue told him that we could pay for their schooling, she said the man almost cried! He had never met Sue, and today she walked in an met a huge need. She said it was a burden taken off this man's shoulders. The wire has already been sent and on its way to where it is most needed.

So, thanks to your humanitarian aid donations, these children will be able to go to school. Thank you!"

The “Humanitarian Aid” fee is part of our payment contract with our adoption agency, because they are committed to not only removing children from impoverished countries and situations through adoption, but they are FIRMLY COMMITTED to bettering and serving those countries where they work while they are there. We are not just helping the kids we are adopting, we are helping whole communities. This is how is SHOULD be. And this is just one example of how they are doing it. We are thankful for the “expenses” of adoption when we know they are going to work like this!

Here is another bit of info that came in on an email today from their second day there, where they visited a different orphanage:

"D. told us later that everyone speaks lingala. Everyone who has gone to school, speaks at least some French-all schooling is done in French. Then he said that depending on the region, everyone knows either Swahili,..oh, I cant remember the other 2 languages and then everyone speaks the language of their village. …not yet sure what is meant by village, but there it is. (We actually know some Swahili, so that will be GOOD!)

Be prepared to get coated in dirt. It is not like you look at yourself and see dirt. But when you rinse off, the water is brownish from all the dirt.

I held a little girl today and she smelled sweet. Though I have yet to see a child with healthy toenails,  they do look and smell clean. They meaning the children, not the toes.:)

[another orphanage], like [Agape's], is on the side of a mountain so the view is beautiful. It is far enough out in the "suburbs" that you are looking out on lush greenness. Do not misunderstand me when I say suburbs.  I am talking about tin shanties- poverty which could win the hokey pokey.

We saw again today the director of [Agape's orphanage]. He was taking a child to the doctor. (GOOD sign! He takes care of the children well!) We will go to that hospital again to ask some questions. The doctor we hoped to meet is suppose to be there on Monday.

What I really want to talk about is our dinner conversation with D. I am glad that you all will meet him. Yesterday, I had some conversations with the orphanage director and the nannies. They had nothing but good things to say about him. The sentence that stood out to me was this," He provides not only what we need, but also what we want." This was spoken in a hallway that desperately needed painting,a very primitive kitchen, and concrete floors. This is also the director's home. But! your monies have brought beds, food,clothes and shoes. So humbling.  

back to D.: He is a strong believer and was telling us about the Bible Study he is a part of. He said that he has lead Bible Studies, but prefers to disciple the men who lead Bible studies in his church. I, having been on staff with Campus Crusade am very impressed! The idea of discipling leaders is just…wow….he is a missionary's dream national. This man loves God and is working to teach others the significance of not just going to church, but doing what is right and teaching their children to do what is right."

So.... that is what we know so far. To summarize, here are the HIGHLIGHTS:

1. Our daughter knows who we are!
2. Her orphanage is outside of the crime-laden city and run by a good man who truly cares about the children in his care.
3. Our lawyers are good, trustworthy, and CHRISTIAN men despite their slowness and ineffective communication with us at times.
4. “Our money” (truly, GOD’S money that has come from mixture of our savings and YOUR donations) has made it possible for orphans in Congo to go to school, receive an education, and have the possibility of a future beyond their current circumstances!
5. We need to learn Lingala and find a place in Lancaster County to buy cassava leaves! LOL

Oh, and just in case you don’t follow us on FaceBook, here is a quick catch-me-up (because we are terribly forgetful bloggers who have not posted since December, apparently): 

We have Agape’s abandonment decree, medical, and birth certificate, and our official adoption court in Congo will begin on March 14th! Roughly two weeks after that it should be finished, we wait a month, and then all of our paperwork goes to the US Embassy for the final OK before we get the invite to travel and apply for Agape’s visa... at which point she is totally and legally OURS!!! 

Amidst all of this, I am now 26 weeks pregnant, and we are praying that, hope above hope, we can travel BEFORE I hit 36 weeks (before May 16th). Otherwise I will be popping out a baby boy, and then we will hop on a plane sometime late June-ish while my gracious family takes care of our newborn. Not ideal, but either way we will make it work, and our family will FINALLY be TOGETHER by mid summer! We cannot wait. We cannot wait. We CANNOT WAIT! And we cannot say that enough times! 

Right now our hearts are brimming, spilling over, and being drenched in the joy of the Lord. He is so good and faithful to have brought us this far, and although the journey is NOT NEARLY over, we will rejoice in our place RIGHT NOW. It may be a “long way home” - “the valleys are deeper and the mountains are steeper than I ever could have dreamed” - BUT - “when we can’t take another step, our Father will pick us up and carry us in his arms...” Amen and Amen. We are alternately running and being carried. There are steep mountains yet ahead, deep valleys, and many more miles to run. But by the daily grace of Jesus, we are ready to keep on! 

Please pray for us and for Agape, and for Justice her baby brother in my belly. Our prayer is that we will be a family for HIS GLORY! 

Oh, and we promise to get back on the bloggin’ train here, and be more intentional with these updates. Sorry to leave you hanging for so long! We will let you know when we know more... LOVE to each and every one of you, dear friends, family, and global family who we have never met!