What's in a name.... ?

Just a short note of something that I found neat today. In an email, our agency director commented that Agape LOVED her new name. Yay! That made me so happy! I mean, we love it, but we are so happy that she does too! 

I wanted to write a bit about this just because I have received so many questions on this lately from concerned people who think that we might be “stealing her identity” by changing her name, or that it is going to be traumatic for her to have to change it, etc. I think this is so interesting because this is an issue where Western culture divides from other cultural perspectives. In our culture, and most other western cultures, names reference individuality. PERSONAL rights, freedoms, and ownership are things that we value very highly! Our name is one of the most important words to us, because it is probably our first personal possession, and we feel tied to the notion of our selves as individuals. This is not so for many cultures of the world, who tie names to belonging and value inclusion in community above any notion of personal rights and individuality. Instead of setting apart, names draw inward. Not exclusive, but inclusive, and powerful communicator of identity within a group.

Now, I am not saying that either practice is right or wrong... I think they both have valid points! We need to be individuals, uniquely created by God ... but the point of that uniqueness is not to stand alone, but rather to dwell in peaceful community with one another, so that in the end, we are all whole because of our collective strengths. A beautiful tapestry would not be anything without the individual colorful strands, but the individual strands by themselves fail to meet their purpose without coming together with one another. It’s just awesome how God makes us each different, and then weaves us into just the right communities of diversity... gorgeous!

In any case... back to names... it is really interesting how you view your own name depending upon your culture! We have also been told that in Congo specifically, names hold great significance and meaning, and it is common for people to have MANY names by which they are called. They are given a regular “first” name, a surname, a “Christian” name (with Biblical meaning), and a new name if they are adopted into a family. And the children respond to any of their names! How do they keep it all straight? That’s what I’d like to know! LOL 

Anyhow, we chose to change her name for many reasons, but we especially wanted her to know that she is now and forever, undeniably, completely, no question, an integral part of our family with her identity as an abandoned orphan behind her. Yet, her painful past and beautiful culture is still - and will always be to some extent - very much a part of her (and part of our whole family’s story now too), which is why we chose to leave her Congolese name as a second middle name. If she was much older we probably would do something different, like keep the first and add a middle name, etc. Who knows... But we have been so sure that her name IS to be Agape, and so we are just so thrilled that she loves it! 

Agape May Mado Shultz: Agape has beautiful Christian meaning: God’s Selfless Love (For God so loved the world...). May is a family middle name passed down from my grandmother, to my mom, to me, and now to my firstborn daughter. Mado is our daughter’s Congolese given name. Finally, Shultz means that she is a part of OUR FAMILY forever more! 

So there you have it.... what’s in a name? Apparently a lot, but it just depends on how you are looking at it!  :)

A very long - and long awaited - update...

This post is going to be insanely LONG. Fair warning. :)

So, today is pretty much a huge, the entire world is different, nothing will ever be the same, kind of day. I say this not because anything is noticeably changed. In fact, it is the kind of change that makes me think of the night Jesus was born... the whole world did not get the memo, they probably woke up and went about their day as usual, and hardly anyone except a few raggedy shepherds and a poor couple in a stable knew that anything had changed.... AND YET.... the world would never be the same again! Love had come, and a bridge was being built on that love, which would stretch across a divide as wide as a continent, bridging the hidden world of heaven and the turf of earth. Well, that is what has happened for us in the past 24 hrs. A bridge is being built, a divide is beginning to close, and two continents are coming together. 

TODAY, yes even this moment, our daughter now knows that we EXIST. Just to say this - every time that I even think about it - it makes my eyes flow like Yosemite Falls. She knows our faces! She has seen our pictures! She has heard about her future in a family with us! She is even wearing the very bracelet that I made for her and I am wearing the matching one - a million miles apart, yet connected! The whole world is different now. Our family is that much closer, and a process is set into motion to draw us as threads into a tightly woven tapestry. You, the reader, may have NO IDEA how deeply this knowledge settles into my heart and tears it to happy shreds. I am broken, mended, and  undone all at the same time. I am still processing the understanding of it all. There is so much more to get to know about our daughter and so much more for her to know about us, but for now, we know that she knows that we are HERE, and we will be COMING.

And that is all we know. But for right now, that is ALL I NEED.  :)  No photos yet, or video, or answers to our specific child-related questions, just a general email to our whole adoption group from our director reporting that they have seen the kids, distributed the care packages, and toured the orphanage. 

More on the good news about the orphanage in a moment....

First let me revel a bit more! OH, the glory of knowing that at any given moment she could be looking at the photo album we sent her! She could be imagining herself in her bedroom. She could be scared spitless at the pictures of these crazy pale people who cal themselves “mom and dad” and I would not blame her! Maybe she is wearing a dress we sent, drawing with her very own markers, hugging her “Build a Bear” and listening to our voices talk in very poor french and completely unfamiliar English. Maybe she is screaming and laughing in Lingala (the only language that she actually knows, we now have discovered!) with her playmates while using the megaphone-microphone we got for her. My mind can think of hundreds of ways that she is now THAT MUCH more connected to us and our world. Yesterday, at the very time that I was in the classroom at Bethany telling the first graders all about HER and her Congolese world, she was finding out about US and her future home in America! How unbelievably COOL! We have been able to “touch” her life over the miles and across the ocean, and I cannot explain how much this makes me laugh, cry, glow, and DESPERATELY want to go to her that much more RIGHT NOW! I am just so thankful for our directors taking this trip to love on the orphans that are soon to be adopted into their forever families, preparing the way for us to soon come and get them and bring them home. 

But I am rambling... I need to get to more good stuff.

Major praise! the orphanage is a safe place and the man who runs it seems very good and trustworthy. Instead of trying to sum up what was put in the email to our adoption group, I am just going to copy and paste the email right here. Please keep in mind that our poor director had not slept more than 4 hrs in a 48 hr time period, so it is short and sweet, a random list of “impressions” from her visit to our daughter’s orphanage, but packed with info that makes our hearts GLAD (my comments are in blue):

"ok, I was not prepared for the chaos of videoing,asking questions to a little person who just looks at me with piercing eyes, rain to start in the midst of it AND drum roll please! Lingala. They only speak lingala. (We were expecting them to know French!)

breakfast: I think it is called semolina- a yellowish cream of wheat (I think I can find this at BB’s so we will have to cook some soon!!!)

lunch: rice always plus something-today it was cassava leaves-looks like  pesto and tastes like collard greens

dinner:semolina or cassava-whatever the morning stuff was plus cassava (Have no idea where I can buy cassava???)

took pictures of their beds

oh my goodness, I want to eat them up as they look at the picture I just took!

delightful-these children are delightful (YAY! OF COURSE my child is delightful, LOL!)

balls-big hit

stickers are for sharing

a gift of a bracelet and momma in america has the same one-love it! (That’s ME, and I am wearing it now!)

[the orphanage] looks like a primitive farm on a mountain side (VERY COOL! She will be used to the country!)

the road to get there feels matches

yikes I hope we got video footage! (WE HOPE SO TOO!)

love the pictures

D. and lawyer may be moving slower than hoped but they are honest men (SO good to know! An answer to prayer!)

I know why JB keeps saying that our families will be very happy-once the labor pains are past, they will be thrilled (YES, WE WILL!)

Here is some more info from our agency that came over an email... this one made me cry when I was trying to read it out loud to Dan. Yes, we hate needing to pay “so much” for adoption, but news like this makes it all worth it:

“Today, she and Cherie went to an orphanage (This is referring to Agape's orphanage) and met the man there who runs it (this is our daughter’s caretaker). She found out that the older children there had to stop going to school because of a lack of funds to pay for the schooling. When Sue told him that we could pay for their schooling, she said the man almost cried! He had never met Sue, and today she walked in an met a huge need. She said it was a burden taken off this man's shoulders. The wire has already been sent and on its way to where it is most needed.

So, thanks to your humanitarian aid donations, these children will be able to go to school. Thank you!"

The “Humanitarian Aid” fee is part of our payment contract with our adoption agency, because they are committed to not only removing children from impoverished countries and situations through adoption, but they are FIRMLY COMMITTED to bettering and serving those countries where they work while they are there. We are not just helping the kids we are adopting, we are helping whole communities. This is how is SHOULD be. And this is just one example of how they are doing it. We are thankful for the “expenses” of adoption when we know they are going to work like this!

Here is another bit of info that came in on an email today from their second day there, where they visited a different orphanage:

"D. told us later that everyone speaks lingala. Everyone who has gone to school, speaks at least some French-all schooling is done in French. Then he said that depending on the region, everyone knows either Swahili,..oh, I cant remember the other 2 languages and then everyone speaks the language of their village. …not yet sure what is meant by village, but there it is. (We actually know some Swahili, so that will be GOOD!)

Be prepared to get coated in dirt. It is not like you look at yourself and see dirt. But when you rinse off, the water is brownish from all the dirt.

I held a little girl today and she smelled sweet. Though I have yet to see a child with healthy toenails,  they do look and smell clean. They meaning the children, not the toes.:)

[another orphanage], like [Agape's], is on the side of a mountain so the view is beautiful. It is far enough out in the "suburbs" that you are looking out on lush greenness. Do not misunderstand me when I say suburbs.  I am talking about tin shanties- poverty which could win the hokey pokey.

We saw again today the director of [Agape's orphanage]. He was taking a child to the doctor. (GOOD sign! He takes care of the children well!) We will go to that hospital again to ask some questions. The doctor we hoped to meet is suppose to be there on Monday.

What I really want to talk about is our dinner conversation with D. I am glad that you all will meet him. Yesterday, I had some conversations with the orphanage director and the nannies. They had nothing but good things to say about him. The sentence that stood out to me was this," He provides not only what we need, but also what we want." This was spoken in a hallway that desperately needed painting,a very primitive kitchen, and concrete floors. This is also the director's home. But! your monies have brought beds, food,clothes and shoes. So humbling.  

back to D.: He is a strong believer and was telling us about the Bible Study he is a part of. He said that he has lead Bible Studies, but prefers to disciple the men who lead Bible studies in his church. I, having been on staff with Campus Crusade am very impressed! The idea of discipling leaders is just…wow….he is a missionary's dream national. This man loves God and is working to teach others the significance of not just going to church, but doing what is right and teaching their children to do what is right."

So.... that is what we know so far. To summarize, here are the HIGHLIGHTS:

1. Our daughter knows who we are!
2. Her orphanage is outside of the crime-laden city and run by a good man who truly cares about the children in his care.
3. Our lawyers are good, trustworthy, and CHRISTIAN men despite their slowness and ineffective communication with us at times.
4. “Our money” (truly, GOD’S money that has come from mixture of our savings and YOUR donations) has made it possible for orphans in Congo to go to school, receive an education, and have the possibility of a future beyond their current circumstances!
5. We need to learn Lingala and find a place in Lancaster County to buy cassava leaves! LOL

Oh, and just in case you don’t follow us on FaceBook, here is a quick catch-me-up (because we are terribly forgetful bloggers who have not posted since December, apparently): 

We have Agape’s abandonment decree, medical, and birth certificate, and our official adoption court in Congo will begin on March 14th! Roughly two weeks after that it should be finished, we wait a month, and then all of our paperwork goes to the US Embassy for the final OK before we get the invite to travel and apply for Agape’s visa... at which point she is totally and legally OURS!!! 

Amidst all of this, I am now 26 weeks pregnant, and we are praying that, hope above hope, we can travel BEFORE I hit 36 weeks (before May 16th). Otherwise I will be popping out a baby boy, and then we will hop on a plane sometime late June-ish while my gracious family takes care of our newborn. Not ideal, but either way we will make it work, and our family will FINALLY be TOGETHER by mid summer! We cannot wait. We cannot wait. We CANNOT WAIT! And we cannot say that enough times! 

Right now our hearts are brimming, spilling over, and being drenched in the joy of the Lord. He is so good and faithful to have brought us this far, and although the journey is NOT NEARLY over, we will rejoice in our place RIGHT NOW. It may be a “long way home” - “the valleys are deeper and the mountains are steeper than I ever could have dreamed” - BUT - “when we can’t take another step, our Father will pick us up and carry us in his arms...” Amen and Amen. We are alternately running and being carried. There are steep mountains yet ahead, deep valleys, and many more miles to run. But by the daily grace of Jesus, we are ready to keep on! 

Please pray for us and for Agape, and for Justice her baby brother in my belly. Our prayer is that we will be a family for HIS GLORY! 

Oh, and we promise to get back on the bloggin’ train here, and be more intentional with these updates. Sorry to leave you hanging for so long! We will let you know when we know more... LOVE to each and every one of you, dear friends, family, and global family who we have never met! 

Pray for peace people everywhere

An update on the Congo presidential elections.

Please pray that our daughter Agape will be safe. Her orphanage is located in Kinshasa, which is the capital city that this news story is reporting on. We are praying that God protects her and all of the other children from violence, and that she will have enough good food and water to wait out any uprising. Please pray for peace... for Congo, and for us. If you have ever seen the movie Hotel Rwanda or have read anything about the past 20 years of horrendous genocide in this part of Africa, you know how serious this threat is and how quickly this could turn deadly. Other parents in the article talk about how they are taking their children to safety... and that is not something that we can do. I am in tears right now, as this is just so hard for a parent to deal with. Thank you for your intercession on behalf of our daughter and the all of the fatherless ones in Kinshasa, Congo!

Please pass this prayer request on as you see fit.

Love, Jen and Dan Shultz

Congo Elections

Well still have no news on our paper work being processed in the Congo yet.  Is no news good news?  Not in this case.  Many prayers are still needed for the country.  Campaigns for the elections began this month, and are not off to a peaceful start.  Lots of violence, and growing tensions among citizens.  Not only does this mean more innocent people being harmed, but more violence only slows the election process.  Pray for peace in a land that has little.  We'll give more updates as they come.  Thanks.

Quick Congo Update - Prayers Needed

Time for a quick update ya'll. This was recently posted by our agency, and will give you all something to pray about for us....

"In Congo, things are progressing, but slower than we had hoped.  Some cases are in court and others are waiting for more documents to begin the court process.  We are not yet sure when the first children will be ready to come home from Congo. Presidential elections in Congo will be on November 25 and it is possible that things could be affected by election events. Again, a need for prayer for peaceful elections and peace after the election time!"


Please pray that the process will begin to move more quickly with the documents being processed and the court procedures progressing with no trouble from the elections. We want to bring our little one home very soon! Please pray, as this waiting is torture. Thank you!


With Love and Hope, 
Dan and Jen

UPDATE! (not what anyone expected)

Well, this week has certainly been full of emotions, twists, and craziness, and once again, it is very obvious that God’s plans are not our plans, and his timing is not our timing. 

This week we were blessed so much by the community coming together and showing love and support for us and “our” twins. We were certain that God was working everything out and clearing the way for our dreams to become reality! He was, but not in the way we would have hoped. We spoke with our agency yesterday, and we are not able to adopt the girls at this time (it is not our agency’s fault, it is just for a variety of reasons that we cannot go into). This is a crushing blow to us. We cannot say enough how hard it is to set your heart on someone so dear and beautiful as these girls, make plans to bring them into the family, share the joy and struggle with all of the cyber world, watch everything seem to come together, and then lose all of this. It is heart wrenching.

BUT, we have been told from day one by our agency that this international adoption journey is not one where we will be able to get comfortable in “certainties.” There were constant reminders that the children we pick may not be the children we bring home. The children we claim may only be in our lives for a season just so we may pray for them and love them and ask others to do the same. So in the back of our minds, we were prepared... but not totally. How can you be? In America we have come to simply expect plans to be fulfilled in a timely manner. But this is just not so... in either God’s world or the world of adoption.

So we will not be bringing home twins. What is God thinking???? This has had us in mourning since yesterday, and we will continue to mourn them. However, the Bible promises that while sorrow may last for the night, the joy comes in the morning...

So we are very thankful that God chose to immediately give us a beautiful, shy, and sweet little girl currently named Titina! She is between 3 and 4yrs, and we have “accepted” her referral right away, with no delay, thanks to the donations that so many of you gave! We were able to get right on it! So we are VERY excited begin making new plans for her. She has been on a “waiting child” list for some time now, so we are very happy that we can free her from that and give her renewed hope as she gives us renewed joy.

We say this with caution however, knowing now from experience that anything can happen... we still have court processing and legalities in Congo to get through. We still have 6 months of “wait and see.” BUT we are farther along now with Titina then we were before with the twins, so praise be to God! 

Right now we are learning so much about God’s sovereignty and our trust. And let us tell you, these are not comfortable or easy lessons. They are painful, frustrating, and rocking our world. They are showing us just how much we DON’T trust God enough and how much closer our hearts need to get to him. All that we want to ask is WHY LORD? But there are no straight answers from God, it seems. We know that we will see the beautiful and purposeful design in hindsight, but we just can’t see it now. This is just life.

But there is joy and hope, and that hope, through Jesus, is Titina! 

Fundraising Update!

For all of you who have been following our story via this blog, we wanted to give you an update on our fundraising. Miraculously, we have raised $4,500 in 5 days simply through the donations of friends, family, and people who we have never even met (some even from other countries)! It has been a beautiful outpouring of grace and love, and we are SO INCREDIBLY THANKFUL! Now we are only $1,500 away from our goal with 2 days left to raise it. We are fully believing that this will be possible! Miracles can and do happen every day.

As we continue to wait to see God's will unfolded through all of this, we have been praying a timely prayer for patience. (view the prayer here: http://thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/scottysmith/2011/10/12/a-prayer-for-impatient-waiters-like-me/ )And we are praying it on repeat!

It is a hard thing to wait on God's answer, especially when it has to do with something so heart wrenching as your children. We are sure that many of you out there know exactly what we mean because of the situations you may have gone through with your own children... times when you felt completely powerless to decide the outcome and just had to leave it in the hands of God. This is where we are. Not to mention the steady influx of emotion tied to being a mother and bonding with your child, albeit only through a picture. Pictures are powerful things! And yet our adoption agency continues to remind every family that adoption is most of all an adventure, and sometimes things don't work out as you thought they would. One family in our group has already experienced the loss of the child they were in the process of adopting. The heartache that is possible here is all too real. So that is also in the back of our minds as we continue to run towards the goal of our twin daughters. So we ask MOST OF ALL for your prayers that the rest of this journey - fundraising and everything in between until the final trip HOME - would go smoothly and successfully! No roadblocks! Amen!

Again, we are so thankful for the provision through the open hearts and hands of so many around the world and around our own community. You all are awesome, and we pray that you will be blessed ten-fold for what you have sacrificed to give on our behalf!

So for now... we wait. Sometimes patiently, some times not so much! But we are waiting and laying it before God nonetheless.

If you have not donated yet and would like to - we are SO THANKFUL for every little bit - you can do so via our pay pal link in the top left corner of this blog. If you missed the post below, our vision was that each person would only have to give $10 if we got enough people involved. Now we only need 150 more people to donate $10 in order to be fully funded to accept the referrals for our girls! So amazing!

You can also keep track of the progress by viewing our facebook event page at: https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=266437166730425

Thanks and MUCH LOVE,
Jen and Dan Shultz