Learning to Sing

Tonight.... was beautiful.

I want to remember it, so I need to write about it and share it with you.

Tonight started off as challenging for 2 reasons. First, I spent the morning sick in bed. Just feeling pretty nauseous and wiped. (Now my sister and grandmother are also sick... must have shared germs at Thanksgiving, yum!) Second, Dan is working the night shift, so I was on my own for afternoon, dinner, and bed routines for the kids. We usually double-team it to cover both kiddos simultaneously at bedtime, so I had to get a little creative to make tonight flow for both Justice's bottle feeding and Agape's bed routine. I am still feeling pretty wiped, so I was ready for bed before any of the kids were, but we still had to do bottles, teeth brushing, and books. The usual.

This is when it got sweet. Agape and I sat on the floor and did an I-Spy book while I fed Justice on my lap. Then it was time to climb into bed to read our nightly Bible story. Usually I climb in next to her to read. Tonight I put Justice on the pillow beside Agape so that I could hold the bottle in one hand and the Bible in the other... and hope to avoid excess air bubbles for Justice while not losing my place for Agape. Basic momma work.

Midway through the story Justice finished and I removed the bottle. Instead of protesting the end of the milk supply, he immediately rolled toward Agape, snuggled his face into her chest, and fell asleep without a single wimper or complaint. Agape put her arm around him and snuggled right in as I finished her story.

The part of the story that I was reading went like this:

"Jesus knew that God would always love and watch over the world he had made - everything in it - birds, flowers, tree, animals, everything! And most of all, his children. Even though people had forgotten, the birds and the flowers had not forgotten - they still knew their song. It was the song all of God's creation had sung to him from the very beginning. It was the song people's hearts were made to sing: "God made us. He loves us. He is very pleased with us." It was why Jesus had come into the world: to sing them that wonderful song; to sing it not only with his voice, but with his whole life - so that God's children could remember it and join in and sing it, too." 

... I think my children are singing... <3

Can you imagine trying to choke out these words while seeing your two children - your dearest heart of hearts - all snuggled together like this. After all of the hoping, praying, struggling, fearing, fundraising, crying, sacrificing, and trusting in God to get your daughter home safely to join your family. After the surprise and struggle of an unplanned pregnancy in the middle of all of the adoption craziness and uncertainty. Last year I did not know either of these children... one was still a faceless hope and one was just a brand new formless surprise. Now, just one short year later, it was truly like something out of a dream. Jesus was present in the bedroom tonight. His grace and love were palpable. As we keep singing each day, "Yesu azali awa, na bisou" - Jesus is here with us. 

Agape wanted Justice to sleep with her, but I had to tell her no. She was sad about that but didn't fight and gave Justice a nice kiss goodnight, saying "goodnight Buddy-bud." (She ADORES him!) Then I hugged and kissed her and told her - just like I say every night - "Goodnight Agape, I love you" As I was getting up to take Justice to his bed I heard her say quietly "I love you too."

I love you too.

This may not sound like much, but can I tell you how amazing those words sound to me? ... because this is the first time that she has said them in response to my goodnight. This is the best thing that my momma heart can hear. (Plus, it was in English!)

I turned around to see her smiling. 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a moment that I will never forget. Many more battles still to fight, but the war is already won, thanks to the Singer. 

Love wins. 

Every time.

And now, I am singing too...