A picture of LONELY

So here we are at home! It has been about 24 hours since we arrived and first walked Agape through the doorway into her new home! I can honestly say that she has been doing REMARKABLY well so far. We really thought last night was going to be harder for her, but she slept all night in her own bed, and woke up pretty happy. Awesome! She has met Auntie Erin and Unc Brett (because they live here), Grandmama and Grandpa Bill (because they brought us home from the airport), and Pop-Pop, Maw-Maw, Uncle Dakota, Aunt Tekes, and Aunt Seke (they came to visit this morning). She has been enthralled by all of her new toys, bedroom, the cats, the house, and everything that she has instantly acquired upon arrival to America. Let me tell you that compared to life in Kinshasa, our home is a mansion and we have way too much stuff. (that's the subject for another post, I tell you, because we sure DO have way too much stuff... Africa puts a lot into perspective) Well, our little girl has just been in thrill overdrive for the past day, and I have been wondering when it might all come crashing down. The answer is: Naptime. Arguably the hardest time of day for parents all over the world. Like any child, she does not want to nap, but still definitely NEEDS to. Well today I could see her winding down. This was the first full day that she has not had anyone around who speaks her own language. As I wrote about before, I knew this would be hard. Today she listened to a whole lotta conversation that sounded like gibberish to her, and then had her own Lingala conversations with her dolls while braiding their hair. When Dan was talking, he said some word that sounded like "Sifa" (Agape's dear friend who now lives in Tennessee) and she got all excited... and then sad when we had to tell her that, no, Sifa was not able to play with her today. Then nap time came, and she did NOT want to sleep. She fought us on it, and then broke down crying. The cry was sorta angry at first, but mostly sad. It has risen and fallen in intensity, but it has lasted for a while now. It is a cry that speaks of LONELY.

I want you all to get this picture, because I really do believe that I will never forget it: a beautiful African girl wearing a princess dress sitting on her colorful, fluffy, clean pottery barn comforter in the middle of a gorgeously painted bedroom full of toys...  staring into space, sobbing. Lonely. It is the picture of having everything, yet still being unfulfilled. If all that we could give her was these things - a house, pretty clothes, nice toys, a room to herself - it would NOT be enough. Thank God that adoption is about so much more than just bringing a child out of material poverty. We are giving her a family and a home, and all the love and belonging that comes with that. The problem is, this does not feel like home to her YET. And although we are technically a family, we have not yet been through thick and thin together. There is much more bonding to be done. Her family consists of those sweet friends who she said "Bye-yo!" to at the airport yesterday, and she is missing them A LOT right now.

So if you think of it, say a little prayer for our African Princess who is grieving today. This transition must happen. It is inevitable, and it is only just beginning. But it is still incredibly HARD. Hard for her and hard for us.

And, if you live near us and want to bring your kids over to play, please stop by this week... our girl needs some friends! She may be a little withdrawn at first, but along with the love of us as parents and family, she also needs the companionship that is unique to friendship with peers.

And most importantly, if your name is Sifa, Ye-Ye, or Lucy, Agape sends you a BIG HUG right now... and a whole lotta words in Lingala that I don't know how to spell!!! Ahlingy Yo MINGY!!!!