Just a short note of something that I found neat today. In an email, our agency director commented that Agape LOVED her new name. Yay! That made me so happy! I mean, we love it, but we are so happy that she does too!
I wanted to write a bit about this just because I have received so many questions on this lately from concerned people who think that we might be “stealing her identity” by changing her name, or that it is going to be traumatic for her to have to change it, etc. I think this is so interesting because this is an issue where Western culture divides from other cultural perspectives. In our culture, and most other western cultures, names reference individuality. PERSONAL rights, freedoms, and ownership are things that we value very highly! Our name is one of the most important words to us, because it is probably our first personal possession, and we feel tied to the notion of our selves as individuals. This is not so for many cultures of the world, who tie names to belonging and value inclusion in community above any notion of personal rights and individuality. Instead of setting apart, names draw inward. Not exclusive, but inclusive, and powerful communicator of identity within a group.
Now, I am not saying that either practice is right or wrong... I think they both have valid points! We need to be individuals, uniquely created by God ... but the point of that uniqueness is not to stand alone, but rather to dwell in peaceful community with one another, so that in the end, we are all whole because of our collective strengths. A beautiful tapestry would not be anything without the individual colorful strands, but the individual strands by themselves fail to meet their purpose without coming together with one another. It’s just awesome how God makes us each different, and then weaves us into just the right communities of diversity... gorgeous!
In any case... back to names... it is really interesting how you view your own name depending upon your culture! We have also been told that in Congo specifically, names hold great significance and meaning, and it is common for people to have MANY names by which they are called. They are given a regular “first” name, a surname, a “Christian” name (with Biblical meaning), and a new name if they are adopted into a family. And the children respond to any of their names! How do they keep it all straight? That’s what I’d like to know! LOL
Anyhow, we chose to change her name for many reasons, but we especially wanted her to know that she is now and forever, undeniably, completely, no question, an integral part of our family with her identity as an abandoned orphan behind her. Yet, her painful past and beautiful culture is still - and will always be to some extent - very much a part of her (and part of our whole family’s story now too), which is why we chose to leave her Congolese name as a second middle name. If she was much older we probably would do something different, like keep the first and add a middle name, etc. Who knows... But we have been so sure that her name IS to be Agape, and so we are just so thrilled that she loves it!
Agape May Mado Shultz: Agape has beautiful Christian meaning: God’s Selfless Love (For God so loved the world...). May is a family middle name passed down from my grandmother, to my mom, to me, and now to my firstborn daughter. Mado is our daughter’s Congolese given name. Finally, Shultz means that she is a part of OUR FAMILY forever more!
So there you have it.... what’s in a name? Apparently a lot, but it just depends on how you are looking at it! :)
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